never an unanswered prayer

Well, i starting writing yesterday and ended up deleting everything i wrote.  I was very upset and sad and well..sick.  This week has been one for the books.  Mon/Tue at work I slowly started getting a tension migraine in my head and neck.  Then it hit full bore on wed.  By Thursday it was better so I ran around my house like a mad women catching up on what I hadn't gotten done, I went to the grocery store, I baked, I cooked, then that night just like every other over booked night this week(because of homecoming) picked up Mya from one dance practice fed kids and took her to her next dance practice, starting straightening Mya's hair for her cheer pony,  put everyone to bed and then felt this weird cramping in my legs and slight swelling in my throat.  That night turned into a full battle of achiness, overheating then complete chills.  I couldn't sleep and by morning I could barely walk my legs were so achy and I was sure I had some major disease.  Or probably just some form of non stomach flu :)  So yesterday, homecoming day, the day we've been gearing up for all week, I sat on the couch or in my bed feeling horrible. I still had to finish Mya's hair that was only half straightened. Payton had to go to daycare and I then watched my husband pick up kids, go to parade, take mya to dance, feed kids, then put Payton to bed and take Mya to her cheer performance at the game.
Now, today I've have some time to process. Here's what stood out to me.  On Tue night I was praying with Mya and she was having trouble with a cough.  I prayed that God would heal her body and if there was anything we needed to cut out this week we would not be prideful and do what it took to take care of our bodies.  hmm.  God is so smart.  So instead of Mya being sick this week and missing out on her fun stuff, because thats all it was to her, just fun stuff- I got sick so sick I had no choice to miss out on the day of events. And my internal battle was this.  If I don't go to Mya's parade she will think I don't care.  If I don't straighten her hair she will feel bad that all the others girls have long hair ponytails.  If I don't sign Mya up for this cheer practice for the homecoming game she will feel left out and be mad at me.  Now, do you think my 5 yr old daughter even really grasps what homecoming is?!?! no.  Do you think EVERY girl in her class was at the cheer camp, no, in fact I think there was 2. And last but not least it was completely unnecessary to way over tax myself with the burden of straightening her hair.  It's like I just got slapped in the face with everything I say Im not going to do with my kids.  I say I'm not going to overburden them with activities.  I say Im not going to be my kids best friends I'm going to be there parent.  And I was totally being selfish and thinking of what would make me look good out of this whole deal. "oh Mya will think it is so fun that im letting her do this dance thing."    "it will be so good for us to get involved in town activities so people know who we are"  ugh. i make myself a little sick just thinking about it.
So thank God for my mom who assured me, again for the one hundredth time, i don't have to do all these things. I mean didn't I JUST write a blog about this!!!!!!!!!   Once again satan is just waiting for and opportunity to throw in the "you are a bad mom" card.  "you are boring, you are too lazy to do anything with your kids, you don't keep up with all the other moms" and I know it sounds crazy but I really lack on self esteem when it comes to Mya's hair bc I am nervous Im not doing a good job on it.  WOW I really overlook the power of prayer.  And I now am realizing that Gods answer to my prayers are ALWAYS for my own good and to bring glory to Him.  Now I realize I need to take every sign up sheet to Him and pray about it before doing it.  I need to look at my days and decide ahead of time what I can do to make them less stressful.  Or I'm going to end up a lot more days in sickness :)  I'm not even kidding every time im sick its a lesson in our family.  I won't even go into what lesson God showed Josh yesterday as I was sick. ok i will a little. He had to quit work at 2, now come on this is my work until 6:30 husband and then after supper squeeze in  some more stuff until 10.  So today after feeling sick about not getting near the amount of work done he wanted to yesterday he realized he didn't have the equipment in that he needed and wouldn't have been able to finish what he wanted anyway, and his business partner then had the opportunity to talk with someone about a very possible upcoming job for there otherwise unbooked winter- he would've not had time to do that otherwise.  hmm, so this is why today hopefully on the tail end of my sickness, im doing just fine.  I love that in life Im learning lessons so much faster.  Im learning to look for God in every situation, because He dwells in me.  I am His child and not for one minute does He leave me or forsake me.