through the mouths of babes

  

Well here it is folks.  Here is God using my 6 yr old to drive a point home.  If you can't read this it is a paper on why Mya is glad to be her.  She drew a picture of herself in the mirror (brown girl, black piggy tails) and the last sentence says, "I'm glad to be me because... I love dance"  
So after having an emotional couple of days deciding if we made the right decision or not pulling her out of dance, I got a phone call from God.  Oh, ok it was not him but it felt like it.  What he was trying to tell me is to get over my fears and live in this world while I'm here.  To be a beackon not a hermit and let my family live there own lives and make there own mistakes.  It was him telling me that what I didn't or couldn't see was that we have a whole community of dance team family who is willing to help us out however we need so that Mya can do what she loves.  She has worked hard this year and deserves to finish it out.  The fact that she was so mature and tried to hold in her emotions because she thought she needed to makes me proud and sad.  I am going to have to be careful with this precious girls emotions, she is a people "pleaser"- oh Lord!, here is payback from my life.
So, we are back on the dance train.  I am so thankful for everyone's kind words and understanding, no matter what.  I am on my knees thankful for times when God gently corrects our mistakes.  Sure, one day we will all look back on things we did wrong or wish we could have changed.  But sometimes we are allowed a second chance if we can listen and let go.
Some of you may know that almost all my test came back negative.  Most important was no crohn's or cancer in the bloodwork markers.  I do have an ulcer (hmm self induced I'm sure) and some inflammation   I am going to talk to my doc on what to do next.  Bottom line is I need to take better care of myself.  I am checking into the SCD (Specific Carb Diet) if anyone has heard of it I'd love feedback.  It's not for loosing weight but healing stomachs/ intestines.  I know I need to do something but for some reason jumping off this cliff seems horribly hard.  I was hoping for a test that shoved me into it.  Yet, I am grateful for these super "growing" moments (that was meant to be read with sarcasm).
Well that's it for my late night blog rant.  Just wanted to update you on life and how it can change from day to day ;)  It's good,  it all really is.  God is good if we could just open our pitiful eyes and see what is around us and stop peeking at the greener grass on the other side.  God isn't good "if only" a,b,c, and d change, he's good NOW.  amen and good night.
laura