tiny little post

I feel a little silly even writing this because it has been so long since I posted.  I don't really know who reads this but that shouldn't matter because Im SUPPOSED to be writing this for me :) well so goes life.  Life has been a little rough and I hate coming on here or talking to people and either whining about it or sounding fake.  Satan has found my weakness and is picking at every single one.  When there is stress in our house (ie. no work for my husband, more stress with home businesses...) the first thing hit is our marriage, second is my eating and emotional vulnerability and third is my worth.  I notice myself eating more, on the internet more and praying/ reading Gods word less.  This time I do feel I've kept up on being in the word but am struggling with one thing.  Listening. I don't know how to listen to God.  I don't take the time and when I do there are to many "laura thoughts" intercepting the call.  I really have been focusing on the Holy Spirit and taking hold of the fact that when we become christians we have the power of the HS.  I would just like to claim that heavenly control.  Daily Im tempted and frustrated to be defeated worried anxious and have self pity.  I want to be that women who wakes up with the joy of salvation on her mind and heart.  the woman that no matter the state of her husbands mind has contentment in the Lord.  I know I can't but I know God can.  Why wont He?  I don't know.... I will keep on trying to find out.