house of volcanoes

Well, it's obvious to my little self that I need to blog before heading to the gym today.  I am a little amped to get going today bc its the first day in a week + that everyone is ALMOST feeling better including myself.  Last time I tried working out I got 3 more days of sick, so I'll try again.
The Hejl household has had many many God moments this weekend.  hmmm where do we begin.... How about with yesterday.  A Sunday in which God choose to reveal himself to Josh and I in ways so loving and encouraging yet so personal and direct to each one of our hearts.  First a sunday school of recognizing God's most amazing attention to detail in creation.  His amazing art.  His bigness and our smallness and how comforting that is.  The fact that He would create the universe and mountains and then create ants and fireflies.  That he would give our bodies the ability to fight off disease and to take each breath and to create life- yet he would think to create fingernails and eyelashes.  Why would we worry why do we despair when he has so much power and so much knowledge.  Well I'll tell you, bc we want to try to figure everything out ourselves.  Now onto an amazing church service, worship that spoke right to our souls and a message about praying and reaching out to people with the gospel and Gods' sacrifice.  Onto lunch, running into people we normally don't get to see or connect with. Finding out in our worry and our despair God would put friends so kind so moved by the spirit in that moment to but our whole table lunch.  They tried to be anonymous but that's so silly because we are just so smart :) They didn't do it because they are wealthy, they didn't do it to boast.  It's like we could feel the hand of God laid on there heart to be used to lift our hearts in His love.  whoa sorry if that sounded deep but seriously it meant so much.  We also got to be in a room with a family from our church.  They put us right by each other with no other people from the whole other restaurant!  We didn't ask to be by them we just "happened" to be there at the same time and that's what was open.  It wasn't until the end of our meal when we all where moving around more we got to start chatting and hearing there story of a grown adopted child and many grandchildren and just the love for Christ they had the life experiences they have had.  Their road of struggle didn't end, that would mean they were dead! But they held onto God and God clearly held onto them even tighter and you could see the joy in there eyes. Not to mention I got to hold this little baby that looks just like the male version of Mya in her pudgy little baby form :)
Now onto more personal stuff.... lets back up to the huge marital spat sat night before all this revealing.  This time of stress in our lives has been just a little too long... in our eyes, not in Gods.  Because you see as you grow in Christ the battles get a little more intense the refiners fire gets a little more heated.  And there used to be a day and age in our younger walk with Him that we could shrug it off and move on- lesson averted.  Now, Gods like "No. stay here, keep your eyes on me, hold my hand- but stay here.  Look at me child, trust me child.  Do you see this battle you are trying to fight on your own? Do you see this hill you are trying to climb on your own? Can you let that go and just trust me?"   *breathe*  My anger towards the situation came out in tormenting the closest one to me, my husband.  Denying him of any happiness from me denying him of my need for him bc I just wanted to be done and do it on my own.  Blaming him for things that clearing he is also in battle with.  So in our house of volcanoes and drama that comes out in confrontation.  What can I say, we are a house of passion.  Right down to our kiddos.  We're loud, we fight, but then we hug and we say I love you and our hearts rip out when one of us is hurting.  Well in this time we were all hurting.  Mostly Josh and I.  And yesterday God spoke to Josh on what he wants him to work on and how he can't just change an external factor and that will go away, and I will continue to pray for him.  As for me, repentance first and foremost for acting like a child selfishly throwing a tantrum and pouting hoping I would get my way.  Amazing how God disciplines and loves in the most perfect way, a lesson I hope to achieve sometime in the next 18 years :0)
I think people are waiting to hear, "Josh got 5 huge houses to build!  We will be set now.  I am not stressed at my job and we are all perfectly healthy!" yes that would be neat-o.  But not nearly as life changing,moving and representing of God's almighty hand in our lives.  His all knowing wisdom of our lives before we even took our first breath.  His attention to detail and creating our personalities, not making any mistakes.  He put our family together piece by piece for an exact purpose.  We are in this to see his glory revealed and that my friends brings. me. joy.
May you recognize how big God is today...

Isaiah 55:9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts"  is God saying he's better than us?!?! YEEESS!! I would surely hope the hope that you are being taught and filled with the knowledge that Jesus is the ONLY way truth and life to God.  His ways ARE higher than ours and thank GOD because can you imaging if our ways were the way to salvation?? have you looked at this earth?? plus I can't create a human from nothing... can you???
laura