Getting off the hamster wheel

Ok Monday, here we go.  You know the hamster wheel you live on most times?  Getting through one thing to get through the next and then getting through that to then start right back over on the first thing??  Well, I'm a little sick of it.  I just got home from an amazing weekend with friends and teachings from Beth Moore in KC.  Also a little nice weather and good food helped a little too :) I won't add shopping to that list because that was pretty much a bust but that's another story.  So as I was sitting in the conference I was fully aware of my past "religious wheel".  It started when I was young: go to church camp, sing amazing songs, be around people who where mostly (at that time) in the same belief as you, here from the word of God, and have time away from regular temptations and society.  Then come home, get hit by reality, be tempted, and forgetting to apply all I just learned- BOOM!! back to trudging through life and giving into my fleshy desires just like before the camp.  There was no depth, I wasn't recognizing my need for Christ, I was looking for this "emotional high" to last a lifetime.  My hear, my faith was not maturing.  Now, to this day it can in some form be repeated with weekends away at womens events, bible studies that end, church retreats...or even just an amazing Sunday- there is always a Monday to follow these things.  Poor Monday, it has such a bad wrap, God probably meant it as a day to start over and use your regained strength from Sunday!!  So back to the awareness I was recognizing. Now that I am a born again Christian, I do recognize my need for Jesus not my own merit and I am maturing in faith- I'm ready to get beyond some of these things that are keeping me from being an amazing witness for Christ.  Someone who lives her battles and is not bogged down by them.  Someone whose mind reflects the peace of God's plan and sovereignty in her life is apparent.  I'm ready to fill my mind with what God wants me to fill it with and not fill it with Pinterest and Facebook agendas and "to-do" lists.

So I did purchase a few AMAZING exciting things this weekend. I'm even going to try to post a picture because this blog is kinda boring since I don't really know what to do with it besides type :) One of them is a book called "Brave" honest questions women ask, by Angela Thomas (actually its a study).  I opened it up and the first thing it quoted was Proverbs 30:1 "The man declares.  I am weary, O God, and worn out." .....  I ran to the check out to purchase it.  

One thing I was glad to hear from Beth is that she too has addictive mind.  That's not just physical in fact is mostly mental in my opinion.  She stated her mind is her worst enemies sometimes and she needs to fill it with the word of God to counter-act the negative thoughts.  God bless the women that can sit on Pinterest other decorating, cooking, and event planning websites and not feel guilt- I am not one of those women.  God bless the women that can go on Facebook and look at other peoples professional pics of their kids every 6 months of there life and not think "hmm its been 2 years since we've taken a picture together" or read about amazing birthday parties, fun filled weekends and husbands who surprise them with weekends away to Bermuda. (OK I totally made all that up so if you just did those things I sorry, I'm not saying they are bad I'm just showing my train of thought here).  So ANYWAY, jeepers I'm all over the place today..... She chooses not to be on Facebook.  I choose not to update and check my Facebook much because it eats up too much time and I feel I need to prove points and make comments or no one will love me, yep I'm crazy.  Ok so the point iiiissss!!!! we recognize these things and then NEVER do anything about them. I AM SICK OF THE WHEEL!! So I'm diving into scripture, which usually scares me.  Where do I start? how much should I read? do I have to memorize everything? Doesn't matter.  I'm just going to read.  I'm going to read and journal, with my new journal that matches my bible of course :)  Turns out I don't really suck that bad I actually to write things down I have the notebooks to prove it.  But usually I'm not good at memorizing and applying.
God bless YOU if you've made it this far in my blog, I have major AADD today with all these things, I may have to do this again right away tomorrow.
To sum up, I'm sick of the church camp fever.  I want a forever fever that makes me contagious to all that surround me!!! So here's is my heart:
things I am in affliction over, these are things that were explained to have a more permanent place in your life, things you daily deal with. 1. food- I admittedly am not ready to give this to Christ because I believe my mind is not strong enough with his word to do so, last week I tried detoxing from all the horrible food I've been eating and it lasted 6 hours, go me (insert sarcasm here) 2. addiction to affirmation, no this is not just my love language, it is something that daily bogs me down. It is how I live and breath and the reason I do everything I do.  It is how I make decisions and I feel the only way I can have people who love me.
things I am letting go, perfection, untrue thoughts (that will be obtained by true promises given to me by God through his word) these are BIG things because that engulf most of my life:kids, marriage, home, business.  Cutting things out of my life that do me NO GOOD, give me NO ENERGY and waste my productive time (not just me time because sometimes we need time wasters to wind down)
Aren't you sick of the wheel? Maybe not.  But I just want to learn and MOVE ON already.  Like, ok give me the NEXT thing God.
Ok here I go trying to post some pics of my long awaited new ESV bible(this was NOT an impulse buy for once), my journal and my book.. because when you can't find clothes ( or they don't fit you as expected) or shoes, yep that's right I couldn't even find shoes: you can always have an calming time at the christian book store and find encouraging things.  This was the ONLY bible like this and I have been looking for a long time!! then I found an (on sale!) journal to go with it. Even my husband thinks my bible is cool, he's just jealous :) LOVE YOU ALL!! and love this stinkin' blog.  I just love it seriously wish I could do it all day....kinda like right now :)
In Christ Alone
laura